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18 July 2007 @ 03:34 pm
Okay, here is my new poem. Constructive feedback always welcome.

Name: Grief
Author: Lindsey Webster (purplecolagirl)



Life has become a sorrow
Burrowed deep in my soul.
Heaviness reigns over my chest
As thoughts of loss churn in my mind.
I can feel the pounding
Of my heart as it painfully beats.
Tears stain my red face
As it stares forward at the loss before me.

This body, grey and cold,
Stiffly lays before me in its casket.
The air of death fills the room
Despite the colourful array of flowers,
Live and sweet smelling.
They don't fool anyone with their beauty.
Beauty lies within that casket,
Within the life now lost.

The frozen air of December
Sweeps over my numb body
As I walk out into the world alone.
She lies in a grave behind me,
Along with the meaning and love.
The air is sombre, it stings me.
I continue walking as each step
Takes me closer to my final collapse.


The road has changed.
Paths winding and carved deep
With tears and my mournful cries,
With thoughts of emptiness and existential crises
Born into my cringing mind.
Staring past faces lost in their lack of meaning,
It's all stinging my eyes, burning my retinas
With darkness, blackness, nothingness.

My heart beats long and hard
With each breath struggling to move forward.
Loneliness has met the thorny veil of bitterness.
Life, my life, has been sucked away with hers.
I sit in grief as I face the wind,
As it beats against me and blows hard
At everything I've tried not to feel.
The road has turned to pebble and stones.

Push forward bare feet
And vulnerable toes over these stones
Too heavy to bare with arm's strength.
Push and pull this lethargic body
I have to wear over my disheartened soul.
This black veil clouds over my face,
And dims my world to a mesh grey.
I'm stumbling forward in aching pain.


The air seems to change colours
As time without her moves on.
The thick grey haze
That clouded my eyes every time I peered out
Into the death-ridden world
Has loosened, thinned and begun to lift.
The black nights have bright stars again.
But the hollow emptiness in this world never leaves.

My heart still feels like its dropping
Into the vastness inside my chest
As I think of the loneliness that aches inside.
Tears still seep into my eyes then flow
Like rivers crashing past rocks with no calm.
But days start to go by when eyes are dry
And my mind thinks outside of the dark beauty of her own.
Frozen December melts its fine ice and many springs finally come.

I can see again as I watch the blues and pinks
And purples bloom over the darkness that filled me.
I can walk forward without the crumble inside my knees
As my body had shaken forward on quaking grounds.
I stand up and my eyes can blink dry with no rivers on the verge.
But inside there is still a bleakness, a jagged darkness
Etching from within the buried memory box
That sits crying deep within my now quieting mind.

Memories seep past my vision in slow motion as I stare forward peacefully.
My heart fills deeply and I see her again. I feel her again. I'm one with her again.

Written from December 16, 2006 to July 8, 2007
Copyright (C) 2007, Lindsey Webster. This material is not to be taken off this website, copied or reproduced in any way without permission.

Tags: ,
anti_zeitgeist: Ladyanti_zeitgeist on July 19th, 2007 09:50 am (UTC)
That was very intense. You perfectly conveyed the narrator's grief through you use of adjectives and as my former tutor would say, you 'showed, not told'.

All in all, a very emotionally moving piece.

Congratulations, Linds.

Also, I might use your copyright details as a sample, if you don't mind.
purplecolagirlpurplecolagirl on July 19th, 2007 03:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much. Its the first poem I've been able to finish regarding my sister's death. I wrote another one but I could never seem to finish it in the 3 years I worked on it.

Yes, you may use my copyright info. You should say All material on this website is copyrighted to their author. No material is to be taken from this website, copied or reproduced in any way.